I am continually moved by the fearlessness of some of the couples I see in my practice who are willing to step outside of their emotional comfort zones to create a different way of relating to each other. One useful exercise I suggest they do with me is to brainstorm a list of effective communication [...]
{ 1 comment }
This is the time of year when two sets of feelings may be competing for our attention. First, many of us may be looking ahead with pleasure to the holiday season and the myriad of tasks, opportunities to connect and relationships to juggle. In addition, this time can offer us a joyful opportunity to slow [...]
{ 0 comments }
Relationship difficulties and pain happen to all of us. They are impossible to avoid, which is why we need to learn about the time-proven principles which are available to address what typically happens in all relationships. The following list of habits is a humorous look at some of the things we sometimes do. But it’s “funny” [...]
{ 0 comments }
This month I’d like to talk about how helpful mindfulness can be if you want to be aware of what is happening in your relationship, in particular your feelings and thoughts in response to whatever is happening. To begin with, I’d like to define the term “mindfulness”. I’ll use a simple definition which talks about [...]
{ 0 comments }
Most of us have not been taught that our relationships require an ongoing investment of attention, time and energy to maintain and enhance their vitality. Many of us work hard, are pressed for time or are caught up in the daily, everyday grind of activities. This often results in the sense that we’re on a [...]
{ 0 comments }
What sets our good relationships with close and intimate partners apart from those we have with our more casual acquaintances is the quality of the emotional connection we share. Emotions are core to human interactions. Without the ability to understand, use and respond to our own as well as others’ emotions in a healthy way, [...]
{ 0 comments }
Last month, after a few very busy weeks of talking in my counselling practice combined with the end-of-term strain of teaching counselling to students who were worried about their assessments, a sore throat caught up with me. Every time I spoke for more than a few minutes, I would start coughing and lose my voice. [...]
{ 2 comments }
Today I want to write about topic that I think is very important as you are working on improving your relationship. Too many people work so hard at getting things right with their partners, that it’s their only focus. They lose concentration at work. They lose interest in friends and engaging in pleasurable activities. Sometimes [...]
{ 2 comments }
Adapted from Dr. Diana Kirchner http://dating-advice.tv/e-course/ I received this very touching letter the other day: “I get the feeling that my boyfriend is becoming emotionally distant. And you know, this is a pattern for me. After a few months where things are going unbelievably well, my boyfriends disappear on me. I am desperate but I [...]
{ 4 comments }
By Dr. Diana Kirschner http://dating-advice.tv/e-course/ You’ll do anything other than looking for a partner online — watch TV reruns, clean the bathroom, complain about your dating troubles, or even call your mother. You freeze up and question yourself repeatedly when it’s time to meet someone for coffee, make the next call, date, or move [...]
{ 0 comments }
What distinguishes erotica from pornography? “Besides pornography’s being principally a money-making venture, the very word pornography (or better, porn) almost invariably connotes a certain exploitation–at times degradation or desecration– of human sexuality. Many writers (particularly feminists) have rightfully complained that pornography, by objectifying women, reduces them to sex objects whose core value is to satisfy [...]
{ 0 comments }
Certain attributes increase the likelihood of relationship success. These characteristics are learnable and teachable. Be spontaneous. Tune into yourself and learn to recognise and name your feelings as they arise. Be willing to let them inform you and don’t underexpress or overexpress to your partner. Act boldly without overanalysing possible outcomes. Successful emotional expression requires [...]
{ 1 comment }
Most people are good at setting relationship goals, but not so good at achieving them. Resolutions and goals to be more attentive, patient, kind, loving, supportive and truthful are made with the best of intentions. Most of them fall by the wayside within a few weeks. What is it that gets in the way of [...]
{ 0 comments }
There is something to be said about approaching love with the fearlessness of a spiritual warrior. We all hear so much about what can go wrong with relationships, that we omit to focus on all the ways they can go right! In particular it’s easy to forget about how we can actively contribute to relationships [...]
{ 0 comments }
Once you’ve lost the energy in your relationship, can you get it back? Yes, you can. It helps to regain control of your own story. To do that, you and your partner have to ask yourself two key questions. “Who am I? What do I desire?” Everything starts with those two fundamental questions. You may [...]
{ 0 comments }
Your inner child is a term which refers to the hurt part of you, the neglected or abused part that desires understanding and support. Because it’s scared and lonely, feels vulnerable and abandoned, it seeks the nurturing it never received. Your outer child is the part of you that “acts out” in hasty and [...]
{ 0 comments }
